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7 INNOVATIVE APPS THAT’D BE A HIT AMONG NIGERIANS

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Tolu Ogunlesi

840

An App that allows Nigerian women to check the marital status of Nigerian men. This will be an instant hit. With this app, all ladies at the receiving end of ‘Toasting’ will be able to enter a man’s name or photograph and the app will instantly tell them if the man is or has ever been married, or is on his way to being married.

Nigeria in Eight ‘Re’s

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Tolu Ogunlesi

76

Every now and then, a buzzword emerges to dominate the atmosphere in Nigeria: the news headlines, opinion pages, TV and radio talk shows, beer parlours, newspaper stands, and so on. With the advent of social media, the chances of new buzzwords emerging have since multiplied; social media is like oxygen to these things.

The Nigerian Political Party Creation & Branding Challenge

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Tolu Ogunlesi

2536

One. ‘A’ and ‘N’ names appear to be the most popular first names for political parties in Nigeria; ‘A’ because it pays to have your name show up near the top of the ballot paper (party names are arranged in alphabetical order); ‘N’ because, ‘Nigeria(n)’, and ‘National’. For last name, P is the commonest, expectedly. Trailing well behind are C (Congress) and A (Alliance).

The Tragic Emails Of Abu Shekau

tolu.ogunlesi's picture
Tolu Ogunlesi

6636

FROM: shekau@iswap.org.ng

TO: contact@isisweb.com

SUBJECT: HELP!!!

DATE: Sept 2, 2016

To whose it may consign

I don’t know how is doing me in dis Sambisa. Suffering too much, help, we needed food – dose infidels hav close boarder & air forcis is distubin 2 much

S

Tokyolympics2020 – Solutions for Nigeria

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Tolu Ogunlesi

431

The 2016 Summer Olympics have come and gone. Nigeria managed to do a little better than in London 2012, winning a bronze medal in the football event. Phew! We managed to avoid the fate of being the biggest underperforming country at the Olympics – we left that ‘world record’ to Pakistan and India.

The Second Half of 2016 By Tolu Ogunlesi

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Tolu Ogunlesi

1236

President Hillary Clinton. If Candidate Trump does not dismiss the elections results and declare himself President. Hopefully the worst he’ll do is seek a power-sharing arrangement, in which she will be President, and he, Prime Minister. In that case Kenya and Zimbabwe, being experienced in such matters, will send a high-powered delegation to advise the United States.

NAIJAPEDIA – The NSA Edition

tolu.ogunlesi's picture
Tolu Ogunlesi

590

Abacha Loot: The older and presumably more productive of Nigeria's two sovereign wealth funds. Known to Nigerians as 'the gift that keeps on giving.'

Alert: A text message received from ONSA (see ONSA) via an act of Dasuki (see Dasuki), and representing the inflow of some Diezanis (see Diezani)

ATM: See ONSA

4-Naira Dollar - Tolu Ogunlesi

4-Naira Dollar - Tolu Ogunlesi
tolu.ogunlesi's picture
Tolu Ogunlesi

130

How much is dollar?

400, last.

400 for what?

Oga, dollar don cost for market o.

Wetin happen nah? Isn’t this the same dollar we were buying at 4 naira in 1986?

Ah I see. I know what you need my man.

What do I need?             

As America Decides... Tolu Ogunlesi

As America Decides... Tolu Ogunlesi
tolu.ogunlesi's picture
Tolu Ogunlesi

125

Who are you supporting for the US presidential election?

Who else?Donald Trump of course!

You dey craze? Why?

Because America needs him.

Really?

Yes. America needs to learn.

Learn what?

An Alternative 2016 Budget Speech - Tolu Ogunlesi

An Alternative 2016 Budget Speech - Tolu Ogunlesi
tolu.ogunlesi's picture
Tolu Ogunlesi

1323

Fellow Nigerians,

1. I am delighted to present this budget speech, the first by our great and mighty party since we defeated and humiliated the grossly overrated opposition party in the March 28 presidential elections and achieved for ourselves, and our God, a great triumph in the eyes of Nigerians and of the entire world.